The Greens politicians to be replaced by CD players: documents revealed

Parliamentary commentator
Serious Fun Herald online

The Australian Prime Minister, Ms Julia Gillard, had agreed at the last meeting of the cabinet to accept her party’s motion to invite the Greens parliament members to be granted permanent leave from the parliament sessions. The suggestion includes replacing the Greens politicians with CD players recorded on them the infamous clichés usually used by the Greens politicians.

The CDs would include recording of messages like “we condemn Labor and Liberals race to the bottom on this issue”, “The Greens is the only progressive voice on this issue”, “The Greens would oppose these legislations and will look for minor amendments on them” and “The Greens will use its numbers in parliaments very responsibly”.

The suggestion that will be sent to the Greens leader for consideration later in the week, will include alternative measures to insure the parliament hear the empty rhetoric the Greens often use in the parliament. One of the alternatives is to use highly trained parrots to imitate the Greens clichés. The parrots will be the perfect solution for anyone who will miss the voices of the Greens politicians.

The idea behind the suggestion came after the Greens failed to take any action to interpret its empty rhetoric vended by its candidates before the last election. The Labor minority government expected a lot of trouble from the Greens politicians after the party held the balance of power in both houses. But the minority government was having more trouble from independents who vowed to topple the government on several occasions if it does not take actions to honour its commitments to form minority government.

We understand from the leaked document that the Labor party is not taking the Greens’ loud voice at rallies and community forums serious enough to bow to their demands. We understand that the Labor and the Liberals know very well that the Greens is no more than a loud sound system that will continue to play the inserted CD regardless if the songs or lectures are not impressing the audience.

To support this assumption, we note that the Greens did not insist on any demand they made. The Greens repeated clichés of demands which landed on Labor’s deaf ears, did not result in any positive (or even negative) change to Australian politics.

The Greens, for example, vowed before the last election to stop the “race to the bottom” on the boat people issue. After repeated Greens loud demands on rallies, forums, media comments and parliamentary speeches, the race to the bottom get lower and lower. Now, with the Greens presence in both houses and with the Greens loud threats, the race to the bottom has landed on Australia’s total departure from international convention on this issue. The Labor minority government vowed recently to deport genuine refugees to their possible deaths or torture. It vows also to trade refugees and asylum seekers with other countries, as if they are trading goods and services.

The Greens loud speeches on climate change have resulted in more taxes and hence deteriorating of Australian life-style (especially of marginalised communities) but no real actions to stop attack on environment.

The Greens suggestion to widen the Medicare and to include free dental care resulted in no actions so far on these issues. On the contrary. The latest budget after the historical Greens win in both houses saw the minority government slashing funding for many health programs and no mentioning of free or semi free dental care.

The net achievements of the Greens are in the negative territory, where human rights and fair go for Australians have deteriorated rapidly.

The suggestion to replace the Greens politicians with CD players or trained parrots has become sensible and logical solution. Such solution will save a lot of people confusion on where the Greens are standing on issues. It will also prevent people from suffering from hearing problems in listening to Greens loud speeches.

The motion, which was never made nor sent to our imagined media service, is a suggestion worth discussing by Australian politicians. Many Australians are becoming disturbed by the high level of lying by Greens politicians. At least they can go on with their lives without any delusion on what the Greens can achieve or ready to do.

If you have more suggestions to address the issue of Greens impotence to make any difference in Australian politics, please do not hesitate to contact us on our online services.